Scarred
by AKindofMagic93
Summary: Later, he would admit that it had been a terrible idea. It was supposed to be a way to break the ice. A way to have some fun after all the horrors they had endured the previous year. But now that he was here, sat in a circle with his fellow drunk eighth years, Neville was starting to think that it had been the worst idea he'd ever had. Eighth year.
1. Part I

**Scarred**

 _ **Part I of Of Scars and Healing**_

 **by AKindofMagic93**

 **Summary:** Later, he would admit that it had been a terrible idea. But, it had seemed like a good idea at the time, and Dean and Seamus had agreed. It was a way to break the ice. A way to have some fun after all the horrors they had endured the previous year. A way to start afresh and get to know each other properly. But now that he was here, in the Room of Requirement, sat in a circle with his fellow drunk eighth years, Neville was starting to think that it had been the worst idea he'd ever had.

 **Warnings:** slash, swearing, mentions of rape and torture - but nothing explicit

 **Pairings:** Neville/Draco, Dean/Seamus, canon relationships

 **Author's Note:** So this was originally supposed to be quite short and light-hearted, but it turned into something much longer and angstier than that.

 **Disclaimer:** Everything belongs to J. K. Rowling

* * *

 **Part I**

Later, he would admit that it had been a terrible idea. But, it had seemed like a good idea at the time, and Dean and Seamus had agreed. It was a way to break the ice. A way to have some fun after all the horrors they had endured the previous year. A way to start afresh and get to know each other properly. But now that he was here, in the Room of Requirement, sat in a circle with his fellow drunk eighth years, Neville was starting to think that it had been the worst idea he'd ever had.

It had been going well until Hannah had suggested they play some drinking games. Everyone had immediately jumped on the idea, even Neville, who doubted playing drinking games with Slytherins was a good idea. Not that he was prejudiced towards them anymore, he just knew from personal experience that they were entirely too sneaky for their own good sometimes.

Not many students from their year had decided to come back. Seamus and Dean were the only other Gryffindors to return; Harry, Ron and Hermione going straight into jobs at the Ministry and Parvati not wanting to come back without Lavender. Hannah, Susan, Ernie and Justin had all returned as had Lisa, Terry, Anthony and Padma from Ravenclaw. Slytherin, surprisingly, was the house where most of them had returned, the only ones who hadn't being Goyle and Millicent Bulstrode.

And now, here Neville was, sat opposite a smirking Draco Malfoy, whose gaze seemed to be fixed on him, as if he was trying to unnerve him. Not that it was going to work. Neville had long since stopped being unnerved by the Slytherin. In fact, over the past year, the relationship between the two of them had shifted from antagonistic to well… Something else. And what that something else was he wasn't entirely sure.

It was a dangerous game they had played, knowing that they could get caught at any moment by one the Carrows - after all, they hadn't always been careful - but they both had seemed to live off the danger and they both must have believed the risk to be worth it. But they hadn't spoken to each other since the Final Battle, perhaps even before that, and Neville wasn't really sure where they stood. They'd never been friends as such, but at the same time, it had been more than just sex. Draco had been there for Neville when he'd needed someone the most, had helped him when he thought his situation had been hopeless, but since he hadn't even approached him since the war had ended, Neville was starting to think that maybe he hadn't really cared at all, that he considered everything that they had been - whatever that was - just one giant mistake.

The smirk he currently wore didn't do anything to diffuse Neville's worry either, it was as if he was silently taunting him, just waiting to humiliate him in front of all his peers with stories of his seventh year. The more logical part of him knew that was ridiculous. Draco wasn't heartless, he had proved that last year, and the smirk on his face wasn't malicious, it was more flirty and teasing, like he used to wear at the beginning of their - for lack of a better word - relationship.

"Right," Dean announced, "it's decided. We're playing I Never."

Neville had to stifle a groan. There was only one way this could go, especially since all talk of anything battle or war related was strictly prohibited, and he wasn't particularly keen on the idea of having his and Draco's entire sexual history being strung out for all their classmates to see. He wasn't ashamed or anything, but some of the things they'd gotten up to had been rather adventurous to say the least, and Neville knew he wouldn't hear the end of it from his dormmates.

He glanced back in Malfoy's direction briefly, and was somewhat satisfied to see that the smirk had dropped slightly as he seemed to have the same realisation that Neville did. They could only hope that everyone would be too drunk to remember everything the next morning.

Their eye contact was broken by Seamus, who was quickly going round the circle filling everyone's drinks up with firewhiskey, while Justin explained the rules to those who hadn't been brought up amongst Muggles or who hadn't played the game before.

Once all the rules were explained and everyone had settled into the circle, the game began. As usual, the questions to begin with were all quite tame, the typical "I've never kissed a girl" and "I've never kissed a boy". Neville drank to both, as did Draco, and the rest of the group drank to either one or the other if not to both. Then came the "I've never had sex with a girl" and "I've never had sex with a boy" questions. Both Neville and Draco drank at the latter, but not the former. No one was really paying them much attention yet, thankfully, though Dean and Seamus did give Neville a curious glance at his admission that he'd slept with a guy.

When it came to Neville's turn, he had to wrack his brains for something he and Draco had never done. Finally, he came up with something. "I've never had a threesome." The only ones that drank were Dean and Seamus. And Theodore Nott. Everyone stared at the three of them, not expecting the quiet Slytherin to have shagged not one, but two Gryffindors. At the same time. That was, if it _was_ Dean and Seamus Theo had shagged.

Theo's ears pinked slightly, while Dean and Seamus shared triumphant grins.

"You two slept with a Slytherin?" Pansy piped up, a note of incredulity in her voice.

"Don't act so surprised, Pansy. You slept with a Hufflepuff after all, so you're in no position to judge," Theo smirked, before either Dean or Seamus could reply.

"Oh, I'm not judging," Pansy carried on, as if she hadn't just flushed a deep red (Neville noted that Ernie also looked a bit pink), "I'm just surprised that these two," she gestured towards Dean and Seamus, "had eyes for anyone but each other."

"Just because we're together doesn't mean we can't appreciate a fine arse when we see one," Dean reasoned, purposefully letting his eyes rake over Theo's body

"Yes, well, anyway," Theo said, in a much higher voice than he meant to, "Lisa, I believe it's your turn."

Lisa took pity on him and carried on the game, "I've never had sex in the Prefect's Bathroom."

Neville drank. So did Draco. But since several others drank to that too, no one paid them much attention.

The game carried on in much the same vain, and Neville and Draco found themselves admitting to having sex in various places round the school, including various classrooms, the Room of Requirement and even the Quidditch Pitch. Nobody had made the connection yet, though whether that was because everyone was too drunk to think properly or because they weren't the only ones drinking, Neville couldn't be sure. Though he figured it was probably a combination of the two.

Neville was just thinking he'd get away with nobody knowing when Seamus suddenly piped up, "I never knew you were so adventurous, Neville."

Neville suddenly felt everyone's eyes on him, though Draco was rather deliberately not looking his way. "Says you, I mean the Black Lake, really?"

"Don't -hic- try to turn this on us, Nev," Dean added, sounding rather more drunk than Seamus did, "you're shagging someone -hic- someone in this room."

"Well, I think the same can be said for a lot of people here," Neville reasoned, trying everything he could to turn the attention away from him.

"Stop -hic- dodging. We'll find out -hic- who it is."

Neville just rolled his eyes and tried to not look bothered, though he did spare a glance in Draco's direction to try to gauge his reaction. He didn't have much luck, though, Draco was far too drunk and preoccupied with refilling his glass to take much notice of what was going on around him. Maybe he was overreacting. After all, would it really be such a bad thing if everyone found out about him and Draco? The war was over, their lives weren't in danger anymore, and nobody seemed to care about who was in what house anymore. So what did he have to worry about, really? Logically, nothing. Sure, there would be teasing, and it would be embarrassing having everyone know just what he and Draco had gotten up to, but after everything Neville had gone through the previous year, he could handle a little light-hearted taunting from his friends and peers.

"I've never shagged a Hufflepuff," Terry said with a sideways glance at Neville. Great, so it seemed everyone was hell-bent on discovering who he was sleeping with. Was being the operative word there.

Neville didn't drink. Pansy did, as did a few others, but no one was paying attention to them, everyone's eyes fixed on Neville instead.

Tracey went next. "I've never shagged a Ravenclaw."

Neville still didn't drink.

Next, was Blaise's turn. "I've never shagged a Gryffindor."

Neville didn't drink. Theo did of course. And so did Draco, who had finally seemed to realise what was going on, and was glaring intently at his best friend.

That's when it seemed to click with everyone.

Seamus wolf-whistled, "Well, well, well, Neville, bagging a Malfoy. I am impressed."

"Sod off, Seamus."

"Who would've thought it, eh?"

"Yes, alright," Draco finally spoke, "Neville and I have fucked. A lot. Is it really such a big deal? Theo shagged two Gryffindors. Pansy shagged a Hufflepuff. Blaise has probably shagged everyone," an indignant 'oi' sounded from somewhere to Draco's right, "stop being such gossips so we can carry on with this Merlin-awful game."

Neville wanted to kiss Draco right there and then. But he restrained himself since he didn't want to give everyone something to gossip about. The game carried on as before, though everyone was not-so-secretly watching Draco and Neville to see what they had and hadn't done.

Everything was fine until Justin's turn. "I've never had sex with more than one person."

Neville froze for a moment. Draco's eyes immediately shot to him. After what felt like an eternity to Neville, but was, in reality, only a second, he picked up his glass and drank the rest of the liquid in there. People - well, Seamus and Dean mainly - were giving him curious looks. Only Draco noticed how uncomfortable he looked. Then again, Draco was the only one who knew.

"Come on then, Nev, spill all."

Neville stood up, slightly uneasy on his feet from all the alcohol he had consumed. "I'm going back to the Common Room." He started to pick his way through the circle, but Draco grasping hold of his trouser leg stopped him from making it all the way.

"Stay. They'll shut up, won't you?" Draco glared at the rest of the circle, but particularly at Dean and Seamus. Everyone either nodded or hummed in agreement, either too scared of getting on the wrong side of a Malfoy, or too drunk to really know what was going on. Draco's gaze turned back to Neville. "Please?"

Neville sighed for a moment, and then nodded, before retaking his seat between Dean and Lisa.

"How about we play something different?" Hannah suggested. Everyone immediately started suggesting other drinking games to play, the exchange that had just happened completely forgotten.

Neville glanced over at Draco and smiled at him in thanks. Draco smiled back.

* * *

Neville woke up the next morning practically sprawled all over Malfoy and with a stonking headache. A quick glance up showed him that everyone else seemed to be in much the same state as he was. Well, apart from Seamus, who was currently handing out Hangover Potions to those that were awake. The Irishman had always seemed to hold his alcohol better than everyone else. Neville let his head flop back onto Malfoy's chest and it wasn't long before he was falling asleep again.

When he woke up again it was to a sharp prod in the back from what turned out to be Malfoy. "Longbottom, shift. You're sending my arm numb."

"Right, sorry." Neville sat up to find that the Room of Requirement had emptied slightly, most students preferring to go back to their dorms and sleep there. Seamus had left Hangover Potions for both him and Malfoy, and Neville drank his gratefully. "Everyone knows, don't they?"

"You don't remember?"

Neville shrugged. "Bits and pieces."

Draco rolled his eyes. "You are such a lightweight, Longbottom." Draco stood up, wincing slightly as his hangover finally kicked in, and began buttoning up his shirt. Neville had a vague recollection that he was the one responsible for it being unbuttoned in the first place.

"Excuse you, but I had to drink after nearly every 'I never'."

"So did I."

Neville stood up as well, a little unsteady on his feet. "Yes, well, we can't all have the absolutely stupendous memory of the Malfoy family." Draco had a knack for remembering the most insignificant detail months later, so it was no surprise that alcohol had absolutely no effect on that ability. "Ugh," Neville groaned, clutching his head. He knocked back the Hangover Potion Seamus had left him, and was thankful when his headache almost immediately subsided. He muttered a quick 'see you' to Draco, before leaving the Room of Requirement to head back to Gryffindor.

When Neville returned to his dorm, it was to find Dean and Seamus sat on his bed with matching Cheshire Cat-like grins on their faces.

"What?" Neville asked, not particularly in the mood to deal with the pair of them.

"My, my, my, Neville, aren't you just full of surprises?" Seamus let his eyes wander over Neville, as if he was really seeing him for the first time.

"We never knew you were so kinky."

"Shut it, the both of you." Neville went over to his trunk and began to change into fresh clothes, ignoring the almost hungry stares of his two friends as he did so.

"So, how good a fuck is he?" Seamus asked casually.

"He must be good if you keep going back." Dean added.

Neville, his patience wearing thin, pulled a t-shirt over his head and turned to face them. "Not that it's any of your business, but he's bloody fantastic actually. Not that I'd ever say that to his face, he doesn't need his ego inflating anymore," he added as an afterthought.

"I've always wondered what he'd be like in bed." Dean said thoughtfully, his eyes glazed over as if he was trying to imagine it.

"Oi! I'm right here!" Seamus nudged his boyfriend playfully.

"Oh, please, you know you'd shag him in a heartbeat if he asked."

Seamus appeared to consider it for a moment. "...Yeah, you're right."

"Anyway!" Neville interrupted, keen to change the subject to something other than sex with Draco, "I'm going down to breakfast, you guys coming?"

"Not yet, but I'm sure we will be soon enough," Seamus said, a hungry look in his eyes as he eyed up his boyfriend.

Neville rolled his eyes at the innuendo, "Right, well, just don't shag on my bed." He escaped the dormitory quickly, knowing that Dean and Seamus would start shagging regardless of whether he was there or not and headed down to breakfast.

Once he entered the Great Hall he felt as though all eyes suddenly turned to him. But he was just being paranoid; the younger years paid him no more attention than usual, but the eighth years - those who weren't particularly hungover anyway - were all giving him amused glances, as were some of the seventh years. News travelled fast at Hogwarts, something which Neville had always particularly loathed. Why couldn't some things just stay secret? He sat down opposite Ginny, something which he instantly regretted when he saw the look on his best friend's face.

"Alright," Neville sighed, resigned to his fate, "who told you? Was it Seamus? Dean?"

"Hannah actually," Ginny replied matter-of-factly as she took a bite of her toast.

Neville groaned.

"Why did you never tell me you and Malfoy are together?"

"We're not together."

"Okay, then why didn't you tell me the two of you were shagging?"

"Because," Neville started as he poured himself a bowl of cereal, "it's none of your business and it was in the middle of a war where, if the wrong person found out, we could end up dead."

Ginny adopted a mock offended look, "Don't you trust me?"

Neville, not realising she wasn't being serious, was quick to reassure, "Well, yes, of course I trust you, but-"

Ginny cut him off before he could finish, "Relax, Neville, I was just kidding. I get it."

"It doesn't matter now anyway."

"You're not shagging anymore?"

Neville shrugged, "Last night was the first time we'd spoken since seventh year."

"And?"

"Well, I think his silence was a pretty clear message that he didn't want anything to do with me anymore."

"Then why is he staring at you like he'd rather have you for breakfast than whatever's on his plate and sending me evil glares like he's jealous?"

"What?"

Ginny nodded, gesturing for Neville to look behind him. Neville turned to look over his shoulder, but Draco quickly looked away when he realised he'd been caught staring.

"He is so crazy about you."

"You're the crazy one."

"Fine. Don't believe me. And the two of you will just have to live in denial for the rest of your lives."

"I'm not in denial," Neville said, somewhat unconvincingly Ginny thought.

"Oh? So you admit you are crazy about him then?"

"W-what? No!" Neville spluttered.

"Oh, please, Neville, I may not have been there last night, but Hannah told me all the dirty little details of what happened."

"What dirty little details?" Neville asked, though he wasn't really sure he wanted to know the answer.

Ginny smirked. "That Malfoy's a flirty drunk and you're a jealous one."

"Gin, I have no idea what you're on about."

"You really don't remember?" Ginny prodded, disbelieving.

"Do I look as though I do?"

"Malfoy was being very affectionate with Zabini and you got all jealous and possessive and snogged the life out of him."

Neville groaned as it all came flooding back to him.

"There it is. So, as I said before, you're crazy about him."

"I hate you."

"Love you too."

* * *

Neville really hated Ginny sometimes. She was his best friend and he loved her, but sometimes he really hated her. Because of her, for the rest of the day, the only thing he could concentrate on was Draco Malfoy. And whether he had feelings for him. He was currently sat in the Library, trying in vain to do his homework. Damn Ginny and her words for confusing him. It didn't help, either, that he kept seeing Draco wherever he went around the castle. Of course, they shared classes together, but outside of classes he kept seeing him as well. It was probably just a coincidence, but Neville couldn't help but suspect that Draco was actively seeking him out for some reason. He was there wherever Neville went. In the bathroom, in the Library, down by the lake. He was always there. But Draco never approached him, never once made an effort to come and talk to him, Neville caught him staring more than a fair few times but that was it. And Neville was more than a little annoyed at this. After everything that he'd been through the previous year, after everything they'd both been through, Neville would have thought that Draco would at least ask how he was doing. But nothing. Not even an owl. Maybe he hadn't really cared about Neville at all.

It all came to a head one night. It was way past midnight and Neville was out on one of his nightly wanderings. They didn't happen often, just when he'd had a nightmare and couldn't get back to sleep, didn't want to get back to sleep.

He often felt guilty for waking Seamus and Dean up, but they insisted that they didn't mind, said that everyone needed to be there for each other after everything they'd gone through during the war.

And Neville had had it tougher than some at Hogwarts, the Carrows had often taken pleasure out of torturing him, and Neville would be lying if he said it hadn't left him scarred in more than one way. Seamus was the one who understood the most as he'd been there, whereas Dean hadn't. It had just been the two of them in the dorm, and Seamus was the one who had healed his wounds at the end of the day. Draco, though, was the one who had kept him sane. Given him something to look forward to, something real to grasp onto, something to hope for.

He'd been foolish to think that he was past it all, that he was over it. Of course he wasn't. He had nightmares most nights, and he still flinched whenever someone he wasn't completely comfortable around touched him.

That night had been his worst one since the war. And it had all been triggered by the front page of the _Evening Prophet_.

Neville wandered round the castle aimlessly, not really noticing where he was going, the article that had triggered that night's nightmare clenched in his fist. It was times like these he was thankful that the eighth years had been given free reign of the castle, even at night. Without realising it, he soon found himself down in the Dungeons and in front of the Slytherin Common Room. He slumped down the wall opposite the entrance, his arms resting on his knees and his head resting on the wall behind him.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there for, but eventually the entrance opened and Blaise appeared. "Longbottom," he acknowledged, noting the distress on Neville's face, "you here to see Draco?"

Neville sighed, "Yes, I suppose I am."

"You'd better come in then. He's in the dorm, I'll take you to him."

"Thanks," Neville replied as he stood up. He followed Blaise through the Slytherin Common Room and into the eighth year boys dorm, ignoring all the curious stares he received.

"Neville! What are you doing here?" Draco asked as soon as Neville had set foot in the dormitory.

Blaise quietly left as Neville shuffled over to Draco and handed him the crumpled _Evening Prophet_ page, not saying anything and sitting down on Draco's bed.

Draco's eyes widened as they scanned the headline; Amycus and Alecto Carrow had escaped Ministry custody pending their trials. "Shit. Are you alright?" It was a stupid question to ask, anyone with eyes could see that Neville wasn't okay. He had dark circles under his eyes, and his expression was lined with anxiety and fear. Neville Longbottom was far from okay.

"No." Neville didn't even try to deny it.

Draco suddenly threw his arms around Neville in a tight, comforting hug that was rather uncharacteristic of him. Neville unconsciously recoiled slightly for a brief moment before he wrapped his arms around Draco and let himself do something he had never allowed himself to do before. He fell apart. Throughout everything that had happened, Neville had not once cried. But he'd been the brave Gryffindor for far too long. So he let it all out. Part of him felt embarrassed for crying into the shoulder of Draco Malfoy of all people, but that part was instantaneously quashed by the catharsis he felt from finally letting all his anguish out.

Once he'd cried it all out, he pulled back from Draco and leaned against the bedpost behind him, wiping his eyes as he did so. "I'm sorry."

"You've got nothing to apologise for, Neville. You needed to let it all out."

They were both quiet for some time, until Neville spoke again. "I think I need to see someone. A Healer."

"Yeah?" Draco prompted.

Neville nodded. "I haven't been dealing with it well. I keep trying to push it to the back of my mind, to forget about it, but it only makes the nightmares worse when they come."

"Maybe you should speak to Professor Snape?" Draco suggested. "He already knows everything that happened, and he used to see a Healer himself. He might be able to suggest someone you could speak to."

"Yeah, thanks. I might just do that."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

Neville, having calmed down completely now, nodded slightly and said, "Actually, could I stay here tonight? I always feel safer around you." He said that last part quieter, almost as if he was embarrassed to admit it, as if Draco would make fun of him for even suggesting such a thing.

Draco did no such thing, however, "Of course. Do you need something to sleep in?"

"Yeah, thanks. Just a t-shirt will do."

Draco got off the bed and began to rummage around in his trunk, finally retrieving something suitable for Neville to sleep in. "It might be a bit small, you're a bit bigger than me."

"S'okay. I'm sure it'll be fine. Thanks." He took the t-shirt from Draco and started to strip off with his back to Draco, too emotionally drained to even think about being shy about his body in front of Draco. When he turned back round, clad only in his boxers and the t-shirt, it was to find Draco staring at him. "What?" He asked, suddenly self-conscious.

"The scars…" Draco started, but his sentence trailed off as he didn't know how to finish it.

It immediately clicked with Neville what Draco was referring to. The scars on his back.

"I didn't know you had those," Draco commented.

"No, you wouldn't." Since they'd never seen each other entirely naked before (they'd always been in too much of a hurry to completely strip off) Draco had never seen the scars that littered his back from being tortured by the Carrows.

"Who..?" Draco almost didn't want to know the answer, but part of him felt protective like he needed to find whoever it was that had done this and make them pay for what they'd done to his Neville.

"Alecto Carrow. She had a particular fascination with cutting curses."

Draco felt an anger swell up inside him; he was now even more determined to hunt down Alecto - and Amycus - and show Neville that they would never again be able to hurt him. "Do they hurt?"

Neville shook his head, "No. I barely even notice they're there anymore." Neville went to use the bathroom and when he returned, Draco was already in bed, but having shifted over to make room for Neville. After a moment's hesitation, Neville slid under the covers and the two of them laid there awkwardly for several minutes until Neville suddenly snorted, "This is ridiculous. We've shagged more times than I can count, yet this is awkward." He reached out for Draco's hand and intertwined their fingers.

They both visibly relaxed and lay in silence for a while until Draco spoke, "Why are you here?"

Neville turned his head to look at Draco, "Do you want me to leave?"

"No," Draco looked at Neville, "that's not what I meant. I mean, why come to me?"

Neville didn't hesitate for one moment, knowing immediately his reasoning, "You're the only one that knows, that understands."

"But what about Weasley?"

"What about her?" Neville asked, confused.

"Aren't you dating her?"

"No!" Neville objected, the thought making him feel slightly nauseous. She was more like a sister to him than anything else, plus he had no interest in girls whatsoever. "Wherever did you get that idea from?"

Draco shrugged, "Well, the two of you seem pretty close recently…"

"She's my best friend! Besides which, she's dating Harry."

"What about Lovegood then?"

Neville gave Draco an incredulous look. Out of the two of them, Neville would never have thought _Draco_ would be the insecure one. "She's dating a magizoologist she met over the summer."

"So…"

Neville rolled his eyes at the ridiculousness of the conversation. "Draco, I'm gay. I have no interest in girls whatsoever. I thought that was made pretty clear with the amount of shagging we did last year."

Draco had an almost defensive note to his voice when he said, "You could be bisexual. I am."

"So if anything, I should be the one questioning your relationship with your female friends."

Draco spluttered slightly at that, "Pansy's like a sister to me, and Daphne's shagging some Ravenclaw. You've got nothing to worry about."

"And what about Blaise?"

"Blaise isn't a girl," Draco pointed out the obvious.

"I know that. But you were all over him that night in the Room of Requirement."

"I'm not interested in him," Draco reassured, "I used to be, but I'm not anymore."

There was silence for a few moments, and Draco thought that Neville had fallen asleep, until he said, "I don't even know why we're having this conversation, we're not a couple."

Draco turned onto his side so he could face Neville. He took a deep breath, mustered all the courage he had and said, "Maybe we should be."

Neville turned his head so fast that it was a surprise he didn't get whiplash. He studied Draco's face for a moment or two, but when he found nothing but sincerity and hope written on his features he smiled and said, "Yeah, alright."

That night was the first time the both of them slept peacefully.

* * *

 _To be continued..._

 _Reviews are always appreciated! :D_


	2. Part II

**Part II**

Neville could never quite remember how this whole thing between him and Draco had started. It was seventh year, around October time, but he could never remember the details. It just seemed like one day they were arguing and the next they were shagging. He was sure Draco could remember every tiny little detail in vivid colour, but Neville had never bothered asking. For the first couple of months of their - for lack of a better word - relationship, it didn't seem to matter what they did or who was on top. It was whatever they both needed on any given day. They never spoke to each other, and the only communication they had was through owl to arrange the time and place of their next meeting.

But then one day that all changed, and it left Draco trying to figure out why. Every time they met up, Draco would get thoroughly shagged by Neville, harder and rougher than he ever had before. Not that he was complaining, it was some of the best sex he'd ever had, even if he did sometimes feel it for days afterwards. So one day, after Draco had had a particularly bad day, Draco decided that that evening he was going to be the dominant one. Except it didn't go exactly as planned. One minute they were kissing with more passion than they ever had before, the next he had Neville pinned face first to the wall, and then all of a sudden Neville practically shouted their safeword. Draco stopped what he was doing immediately and moved away, but he saw the panicked and terrified look in Neville's eyes and the next moment he found himself flung across the room before Neville fled through the door. He was left more confused than ever.

The next day Draco received a scrap of parchment by owl that simply said "10:00pm, RoR."

When he entered the Room of Requirement later that night, it was to find Neville sat on a couch, his legs pulled up to his chest with arms wrapped around his knees and an anxious look on his face. Draco had never seen him look so vulnerable. He stood in the doorway, unsure what to say or do, but thankfully it turned out he didn't have to make the first move.

"I'm sorry." Neville hadn't looked up when Draco had entered the room, nor did he look up when the blond Slytherin came and hesitantly sat down beside him. Neville was silent for a few moments, and Draco waited for him to continue, sensing there was more. When Neville continued, he looked Draco in the eye, and Draco saw that his eyes were full of sorrow, regret and maybe a little fear. "Did I hurt you?"

Draco shook his head, knowing instantly to what the Gryffindor was referring to, "Just a few bruises. I'll survive." He paused. "Longbottom… Neville… What's going on?"

Neville looked away and stared into the fireplace that the room had conjured for them.

Glancing round the room, Draco figured that this was pretty much what the Gryffindor Common Room looked like, if the red and gold furnishings and comfy armchairs were anything to go by.

"Do you enjoy it?"

The question was so unexpected and out of the blue that Draco was momentarily caught off guard. "What?"

"The sex," Neville clarified, "bottoming."

"Yeah, I do," Draco replied, confused about where this was going. "I thought that was pretty obvious from my reactions."

"I don't ever hurt you, do I?"

"You're rough," Draco thought it best to be completely honest in this situation, "and I can often feel it for days afterwards, but I like that. No, you never hurt me."

Neville was still staring into the fireplace. "I suppose I haven't been too considerate of what you might want recently. I haven't really given you much of a choice, have I? Does that make me as bad as him?"

"As bad as who?" Draco was starting to get really confused now, and when Neville didn't reply, Draco prompted, "Neville, you're really starting to freak me out now. Tell me what's wrong. You can trust me." Neville didn't say anything. Draco grabbed one of Neville's hands and gave it a comforting squeeze. "Look at me. Please. Tell me. Who?"

Neville finally looked up at him, the fear now prominent in his eyes. "Amycus Carrow."

It all started to fit together in Draco's mind, like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. A realisation dawned on him and he felt sick, wishing more than anything that it wasn't as bad as the conclusions that his mind was jumping to. "Neville… What's he done to you?" Draco was almost afraid to ask. Neville didn't reply or make eye contact, but his hand tightened around Draco's. "Please tell me he didn't…" Neville looked up then, and Draco knew it was true, could see it in the almost broken look in Neville's eyes. "How many times?" Draco didn't want to know the answer to that, but his vocal chords seemed to have a mind of their own.

"Every detention." Neville's voice was barely above a whisper, but Draco heard it clearly in the silence of the room, the only noise coming from the crackling of the flames. He couldn't stop the horrified look that crossed his face; he knew how many detentions Neville had been getting from the Carrows for refusing to do what they asked. It was a miracle he had held it together for this long.

"Can't you tell someone? One of the other Professors?" Draco felt helpless. He wanted so badly to do something to stop this, to get rid of the broken look in the Gryffindor's eyes, _hell_ he'd even take his place if he could. He wanted to go hunt Amycus Carrow down, curse him, torture him, even kill him. But he couldn't. He was too much of a coward; he wasn't brave like Neville was, and Neville was more than brave for enduring what he did most nights. And no matter how much he cared for Neville, he cared for his parents far more. Because if he did go after Carrow, it would not only be him that got punished for it, but his parents as well, and he wouldn't let that happen, now when his family was already in such a precarious position with the Dark Lord.

Neville shook his head. "Everyone who is on my side can't do anything about it. I don't want to put them at risk."

It didn't escape Draco's notice that Neville had said 'my side' and not 'our side'. It wasn't much of a surprise; they never talked about the war and the fact that they were supposed to be on opposing sides, but Draco had thought that Neville knew he wasn't really on Voldemort's side, that he didn't want to be a Death Eater. But apparently he was wrong. He would just have to show him then. "Bloody noble Gryffindor," Draco muttered under his breath, then asked, "What about Professor Snape?"

Neville gave him an incredulous look, "You are joking, right? He hates me and he's a Death Eater. Why would I trust him?"

"I'm a Death Eater and you trust me," Draco reasoned.

"That's different."

"I can't just let you sit back and do nothing!"

"Why not? We're not together!" Neville yanked his hand out of Draco's grasp and stood up, his eyes flashing briefly with anger and frustration, "We're not a couple, Draco! Why do you even care?"

Draco stood as well, the frustration in Neville's eyes reflected in his own. "Because, believe it or not, I'm not actually the cold Slytherin bastard everyone seems to think I am! I do have a sense of right and wrong you know!"

"Could've fooled me. After all, you said it yourself. You're a Death Eater."

Draco would've been lying if he said the words didn't sting, and even his father, the most stoic man he knew, would have recoiled slightly at the venom with which Neville spat 'Death Eater'. But Draco didn't blame Neville, didn't hold the words against him, he couldn't even begin to imagine what Neville must be going through. His voice, though, once again had ideas of its own. "Fine. Be like that. See if I care." Draco left the room without looking back. But as soon as he was out in the corridor he regretted leaving Neville in such a state. He wanted nothing more than to go back inside and beg his forgiveness, but his Malfoy pride stopped him at the last second.

But when Neville received detention again the next day, Draco knew he couldn't just stand by and do nothing. Which was why, that night, he found himself sneaking out of the Slytherin Common Room and heading to the Headmaster's Office. What he didn't count on was running into Alecto Carrow.

"Well, if it isn't little Malfoy Junior." She sauntered over to him, twirling her wand between her fingers in a thinly veiled threat. "Think you're exempt from the curfew do you? Perhaps I should teach you a lesson… Unless you can give me a good enough reason as to why exactly you're wandering the corridors at this late hour?"

Draco was almost frozen to the spot in fear, but he somehow managed to find his voice. "Professor Snape asked to see me."

"You know what I think?" Alecto asked, a vicious smile on her face that sent shivers right through Draco, "I think you're lying. But let's see what Professor Snape has to say, shall we?" She grasped hold of Draco's arm and roughly pulled him along beside her, Draco silently praying to every God the Muggles believed in that his godfather would cover for him.

They reached the Headmaster's Office and Alecto entered without knocking, pushing Draco in before her.

Severus looked up from his desk, thoroughly unamused by the intrusion. "Alecto. Care to explain why you're manhandling my godson and barging into my office without knocking." Severus' dark eyes flickered over to Draco, and he saw the fear in his godson's eyes as well as the silent plea for help.

"He claims you asked to see him," Alecto prodded Draco in the back with her wand, and Draco unconsciously stepped forward slightly, trying to get away from the witch.

"I did ask to see him."

The look of surprise on Alecto's face would have almost been comical if the situation weren't so serious. "About what?" She asked.

"That is none of your business. Now leave."

Alecto's eyes narrowed, but she didn't say anything. Nor did she budge from her spot.

"Leave." Severus said again, more forcefully this time, and Alecto reluctantly left. Once the door closed behind her, Severus cast a silencing charm on the room, just to be sure that she wouldn't be eavesdropping.

Draco sank into the chair in front of the Headmaster's desk, only just realising he was shaking. "Thank you for covering for me."

"Why are you here, Draco?" Severus got straight to the point, still irritated at the intrusion this late at night.

Draco hesitated for a moment before saying, "It's about Nev-" He cut himself off and corrected himself, "Longbottom."

If Severus noticed his slip he didn't let it show on his face. "What about Mr. Longbottom? I'm sure whatever the problem is you can handle it yourself, you've had no trouble doing so in the past."

Draco slowly shook his head. "Not this."

"Then what is it?"

When Draco hesitated again, Severus' patience, already wearing thin as it was, snapped, "Just spit it out, Draco. I cannot help you if you won't tell me what is wrong."

"I'm not the one that needs help," Draco found his voice again, "you need to stop him from serving detention with the Carrows."

Severus raised an eyebrow, not seeing how this was any concern of Draco's. "If he doesn't want to serve detention then he should keep to himself and stop provoking them. As much as I may hate it, but I cannot protect all the students from them."

"He's not just being tortured though!" Desperation started to creep into Draco's voice. "He… Amycus Carrow… he's…" Draco trailed off, going very pale.

Severus, concerned at his godson's behaviour, prompted, "What? What is it?"

"He's… he's being raped." He could barely bring himself to say the word, he didn't want to think about it, about what was most likely happening right at this very moment in time.

Severus went pale, something which, in any other situation, Draco wouldn't have thought possible. "How often has this happened?" When Draco didn't answer immediately, Severus, his patience gone altogether now, demanded, "Draco! How often?"

"Every detention he's had for the past couple of months." Draco looked at his godfather, and was almost surprised to see a horrified look on his usually stoic face.

"Merlin. I'll see what I can do. But I can't promise anything."

"That's all I ask."

* * *

 _To be continued..._


	3. Part III

**Part III**

A lot changed after Neville and Draco officially got together. Instead of ignoring each other's presence like they had done since the war ended, they spent most of their time together. They worked together in the lessons they shared, they ate their meals together, they hung out by the lake if it was a nice day, or in the Slytherin Common Room if it wasn't.

Though, they did make sure that they spent time apart as well. They'd quickly learnt that spending every waking (and sleeping) moment together was a very bad idea as it usually reached a point where they just irritated the fuck out of each other. Draco found Neville's ineptitude for Potions frustrating, especially since he was such an excellent tutor and since Neville was so good at Herbology. Neville, meanwhile, couldn't stand the silences that Draco insisted upon when they did their homework together and Draco's ridiculous reluctance to step foot in the Gryffindor Common Room (though he did eat at the Gryffindor table with him, so that was something Neville supposed). So, a few days a week Draco would eat with his friends over at the Slytherin table instead of with Neville, Ginny and Luna, and Neville went to do his homework in the Library instead of with Draco in the Slytherin Common Room.

The biggest change of all was the fact that Neville no longer slept in his Gryffindor dorm, but spent every night with Draco in Slytherin. Blaise and Theo seemed to have no issue with him staying there, and Dean and Seamus were just thrilled that they could now shag whenever they wanted without Silencing Charms (not that they ever used them in the first place) and without the worry that they could be interrupted at any time.

Despite the very sexual relationship that they'd had the previous year, there wasn't anything sexual about them sharing a bed. They'd only ever discussed it once, and Draco had said that he didn't want to push Neville into something he wasn't ready for, something which Neville was eternally grateful for and they left it at that. Truth be told, Neville wasn't sure when, if ever, he'd be ready for sex again. He'd used it back then as a way to try to rid his thoughts of Carrow, a way to try to get rid of the feeling of Carrow all over him. But now, it terrified him and freaked him the fuck out and a large part of him believed that Draco wouldn't even want him in that way anymore. He felt used and dirty and whenever he had a nightmare he'd spend what felt like hours in the shower, trying to scrub the feel of Carrow away. But it never went away. He was damaged goods.

The best thing about Neville sleeping in Draco's bed every night was the fact that his nightmares had lessened slightly. That didn't mean they'd gone away entirely though. It just meant that instead of every night, he'd get them every other night, and sometimes he managed to go two nights in a row without having one. But when he did have nightmares, they seemed to be worse than ever, and he knew that it had all been triggered by that damned _Prophet_ article. One night, he had one so bad that he woke up screaming to a worried looking Draco hovering over him and an even more worried Blaise and Theo stood by the bed having yanked the curtains open. Neville usually put a Silencing Charm round their bed, so he must have been screaming pretty loudly to break the charm.

"Neville, it's okay. You're okay. You're safe." Draco rubbed a comforting hand over his back from where he sat next to him. Neville realised he was shaking and his pyjamas and the sheets beneath him were drenched in sweat.

"It was him again." Neville's fists clenched the damp sheets and he didn't really register that Blaise and Theo were still stood there as he continued speaking. "It was so vivid. It's never been that vivid before. It was like I was reliving it." Neville's gaze stared straight ahead and, truth be told, he was starting to scare Draco.

The blond Slytherin gently prised one of Neville's hands away from the duvet and he linked their fingers together, trying to provide whatever comfort he could. Blaise and Theo just stayed rooted to the spot, not wanting to move for fear of startling Neville.

"You're safe," Draco reiterated, "he can't reach you here."

Neville's eyes met Draco's, and Draco could see the fear in them. "But what about when we leave Hogwarts. He's out there, Draco! And there's no guarantee the Ministry will catch him again. What am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know," Draco replied quietly, truly not having an answer.

Neville seemed to finally realise that the two of them had an audience, and his eyes flickered to where Blaise and Theo were still stood, worried expressions still firmly planted on their faces. I'm sorry for waking you."

"Don't be," Blaise found his voice first.

"Do you want anything getting?" Theo asked, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

Neville nodded. "Water. Some water would be good thanks." His throat felt a little hoarse from all the screaming.

Theo shuffled off to their shared bathroom, swiping a glass from one of the bedside tables on the way.

Blaise, perhaps for the first time in his life (or at least from what Neville had seen anyway), looked nervous and at a loss for words. He finally managed to ask, "Are you alright?" Though he realised how stupid that sounded after he said it, Neville clearly wasn't alright.

"No," Neville answered, and Blaise was a little surprised at the honesty of the Gryffindor, "but I will be," Neville added, squeezing Draco's hand briefly.

* * *

After Neville had finally stopped shaking and had pretty much downed the glass of water that Theo had brought him, the four of them went back to bed. Well, Blaise and Theo did. Neville couldn't fall back asleep. Draco stayed awake for a while with him, holding him close, but he eventually nodded off and Neville was left alone with his thoughts.

Neville jerked awake some time later, having just started to doze off. He could hear Blaise and Theo bustling about in the dorm, and Neville sat up carefully, making sure not to wake Draco. Neville swung his legs over the side of the bed, the movement catching the eyes of both Slytherins since the curtains around his and Draco's bed were still open. They both gave him a cautious look as he started to get dressed, but didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry," Neville apologised again as he pulled on his jeans, not making eye contact with either of them.

"Neville," Theo said firmly, "you have nothing to apologise for."

Neville looked up at them both, "But I feel I owe you an explanation."

Blaise shook his head. "We all went through shit during the war, Neville. Some people went through more than others. You don't owe us shit."

"We kinda figured it's to do with the Carrows, Amycus in particular?" Theo added, and Neville gave a slight nod. "We don't need to know anymore than that. If you want to tell us later, that's cool. But don't feel like you have to."

"And for the record, we've got some pretty nasty curses up our sleeves if we ever see either of the Carrows again."

"Why?" Neville asked, baffled.

"Because," Theo explained, "you're one of us now. And Slytherins protect their own."

Blaise nodded, reaffirming what Theo just said.

Draco, having woken up, just smiled, thankful he had such wonderful friends.

* * *

"Have you been to see Professor Snape yet?" Draco asked, casually flicking through his Potions textbook. It was one of those rare times that they actually did their homework together. Though that was because Neville was so hopeless at Potions that he couldn't really afford not to get Draco's help.

Neville ignored his question, and carried on making notes for his essay. "Tell me again why you can't add sugar to the Wolfsbane Potion?"

"Neville," Draco said more firmly, and Neville glanced up at him, "answer my question."

Neville's eyes darted away from Draco's and back to his parchment as he muttered, "No, I haven't."

"Why not?" Neville ignored him again, and Draco started to get frustrated, "Merlin, I'd get more response out of a brick wall," he muttered. "Look, Neville I get why you might not want to…"

"Do you really?" Neville suddenly snapped, leaving Draco slightly gobsmacked.

Draco's eyes narrowed slightly, whatever Neville might have been going through, Draco didn't think he deserved to be spoken to that way. He was only trying to help. "You're scared."

Neville sighed. "It's more than that."

When he didn't elaborate further, Draco prodded, "Tell me. Please. I want to understand."

"My parent's have been in St. Mungo's for pretty much all my life. They lost their minds because Death Eaters tortured them."

"Neville, you are not your parents. Your situations are totally different. You still have your sanity."

"Doesn't feel like it some days," Neville muttered under his breath. But Draco heard it loud and clear. "I don't want some Healer calling me crazy."

"They're not going to."

Neville remained silent.

"Please. Go talk to Professor Snape."

A pause. "Okay."

* * *

Neville knocked lightly on the door of the Headmistress's Ofifce and McGonagall answered straight away, a look of surprise on her face as to who was in front of her. "Mr Longbottom! What can I do for you?"

Neville shuffled awkwardly from one foot to the other. "Erm, I came to speak to Professor Snape actually."

McGonagall's eyebrows raised, but she didn't comment as she let him in. "Very well. Go ahead." She carried on bustling about her office, while Neville just stood there nervously, trying to figure out how best to ask her to leave.

Thankfully, he didn't have to find the words as Snape spoke for him, "Minerva, he wishes to speak to me privately, he's just too polite to say so."

Minerva, realisation dawning upon her, offered Neville an apologetic look, "Oh, sorry! I'll just leave you to it then." Gathering up a few things, she quickly left her office.

Neville cast _Muffliato_ on all the portraits apart from Snape's, not wanting the nosey previous Headmasters listening in.

"Using one of my spells I see," Snape commented, a slightly pleased tone to his voice.

"Well it can be rather useful." Neville perched himself on the arm of one of the chairs in front of McGonagall's desk, and tried to bring himself to say what he came here to.

"What can I do for you, Longbottom?"

Neville took a deep breath, "I wanted to thank you, for last year, for letting me serve detention with you instead of Carrow." Okay, so it wasn't what he came here to say, but it was something he wanted to say nevertheless.

Snape inclined his head slightly, "It is Draco you should be thanking. After all, if he hadn't informed me of the situation, I may never have known. But nevertheless, you are welcome."

Neville paused a moment, "Can I ask, why did you help me?"

Snape seemed to hesitate for a moment, before he replied, "Because, Mr Longbottom, I know what it's like."

Neville couldn't stop his eyebrows from raising in surprise, having not expected that, "Really?"

"Tobias Snape was not a nice man. He had an alcohol problem, and he was often very violent when he'd had too much to drink. It didn't happen often, but even just the once was enough to give me nightmares for years."

"Did they ever go away? The nightmares?" Neville wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer to that. The way things were at the moment, it felt like they'd never go away.

"Eventually, for the most part." Snape said. "But they did come back on the odd occasion, usually when something triggered me."

"I've been having nightmares most nights. I don't get much sleep anymore. I take Dreamless Sleep some nights, but I know it can be addictive, so I only take it when I really need to. Even then, it doesn't cure the problem, just gets rid of it for a few hours." If you'd told Neville a year ago that he'd be spilling all his secrets out to a Professor who he'd hated, and who'd hated him, he'd have laughed in your face. But here he was. And now he'd started he couldn't seem to stop. Merlin, even Draco didn't know that the nightmares were starting to get more frequent; Draco was usually a pretty heavy sleeper, so he usually only woke up when Neville started screaming. Which, thankfully, wasn't every night.

"Might I suggest seeing a Healer?"

"Did you see one?"

"Yes, and I daresay it helped." Snape paused for a moment. "Xavier Montfort. He lives in France now, I believe, but it'd be well worth contacting him."

"Thank you, Professor, I really mean it." Neville stood up. "I just wish there was something I could do for you in return."

"There is. Don't give up."

* * *

 _Reviews are always appreciated! :) Next chapter will (probably) be the last!_


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